PostIts

3/31/2016

Skkra Recommends… Post-Its!

I was quite torn as to whether to recommend these, or recommend avoiding these.  In the end, I decided to give them a thumbs up.

The biggest problem is that occasionally the adhesive will fail at the worst possible times.  Suddenly that note you had on your monitor reminding PostItsyou about a very, very important doctor’s appointment unsticks itself and flutters to the floor in the middle of the night while you’re not there, coming to rest underneath a filing cabinet, never to be seen again.  Now you come in the next day, and because you have 50,000 other post-its all over your office, you don’t notice that that one is missing.  Any why should you?  You don’t even remember that you have this doctor’s appointment coming up.  If you did, you wouldn’t need the note!

All of that said, I use these things constantly, and for that, I’ll need to say YEA rather than NAY to these handy little notes.

RANT BREAK – Celebrity Opinions

3/30/2016

RANT BREAK: Celebrity Opinions.

Why do people put so much stock in the opinions of celebrities?  I can’t figure it out.  Oooh, Jessica Alba can barely act, but she’s really pretty, so she must know what she’s talking about when it comes to politics!  Why does anyone care what Jay Leno thinks about the Pope?  So what if Susan Sarandon says that we should all be wiping our asses with walnut tree bark?  Fuck you, Susan, I’m not doing it.  In fact, I’m not going to wipe at all now.

It’s this weird pandemic now, where if you have any kind of fame, the masses seem to somehow think that your opinions are good.  Even flash-in-the-pan nobodies who find a modicum of social media success for a minute are suddenly qualified to solve world issues.  They can’t even figure out how not to go broke after 3 months.

An extra big fuck you to Jimmy Fallon, just because I seriously hate that guy.  If I could kill myself and my entire family to erase any success he has ever had in life, I would do it without thinking twice.

The Mask

3/29/2016

Skkra Recommends… The Mask!

Remember how great this movie was?  Hell, IS.  I do.  Well, now I do.  I haven’t though about this movie in years, but a recent discussion about TheMaskmasks with a pro-mask friend brought this movie back into my mind.

Remember when everyone was constantly quoting the SSSSSMOKIN!  Man, what great times the mid 90s were.  I want to go back to that.  I might just start constantly quoting the movie again, as if it were brand new.

I’m pretty sure this movie basically launched Cameron Diaz’s career, too, right?  I don’t really recall her in anything prior to this.  I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world.  The Holiday is pretty good, right?  Right??

Tire Swings

3/28/2016

Skkra Recommends… tire swings!

I’m admittedly biased.  I grew up with a tire swing in by backyard.  My grandfather put it together for us, and I spent an ungodly amount of time playing with it over the years.  If you never had access to one growing up, I dare say you missed out on a key part of childhood.  Hopefully you at least had a treehouse.

I was in the suburbs the other day and, peering into someone’s backyard TireSwingas I passed by the home, I saw that they had a tire swing.  I didn’t see any cars in the driveway or any lights conspicuously on in the house, but I did see the tire swaying invitingly in the breeze.  I went for it.

No one seemed to see me as I sprinted across the lawn and hopped the small fence into their back yard.  I ran full speed towards the swing and made a huge leap, perfectly landing one foot on the inner rim of the tire and grabbing the rope with both hands – a carefully practiced bit of muscle memory that seems to have survived through the years.  I swung around on it for a good 5 minutes before deciding I had better get out of their yard in case a neighbor saw me.  What a great day.

Avoid Jerkoff Friends

3/27/2016

Skkra Recommends… avoiding your jerkoff friends!

Everyone has friends, sure.  And since you have friends, you probably have that one friend – or even group of friends – who are total jerkoffs.  Sometimes, you should just avoid them.

Lets imagine that you have an awesome, long-running website that has JerkoffFriendsbeen pumping out over a decade of daily content.  Some small-minded individuals might be jealous of that, even if they’re friends of yours.

Perhaps they’ll wish you would open up the comments section, so that they could turn your popular website into a shit show.  First of all, they’d fail, but second of all, it’s foolish.  They would only be attempting to destroy the very site that they themselves visit each day.  These jerkoffs don’t even realize that they’re hopelessly addicted.  Avoiding these people temporarily will help them understand the truth.

Perhaps they’ll even make ludicrous bets with you, thinking that you’ll fail at updating your brilliant website each day.  Whatever, the case, ignore them.  You won’t fail.  They are in fact the one who has already failed, for daring to question your greatness.  Pay them no mind.  The lesser among us are often jealous of true excellence, but simply stay the course and remain humble.