Skkra recommends… Alcohol!
I know I’ve recommended different types of booze before. At least, I think I have? It’s possible that excessive booze consumption has killed too many brain cells, which is why I can’t remember. That said, I want to strongly recommend booze. Again, possibly. This is one recommendation I don’t mind repeating, and nor should you.
You ever had this stuff? It’s great. Not only does it taste delicious, but it has a vast array of glorious effects. It makes people better looking, for one. It can also make unfunny people funny, like that crotchety old barfly who always sits at the end, who is usually depressing. Alcohol has also been shown to make you 200-300% better at fighting. And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, once you consume the proper amount, insane things that would (sometimes should) never happen otherwise can become reality! That’s probably the most important effect of all.
So stop being boring. Get out there and pound a beer. Pound 12! See where the night goes. You won’t regret it! And if you do, it just means that you had an incredible time but you’re too whiny to admit it to yourself.
Skkra recommends… hockey parlays!
Well, we talked about parlays the other day, but after hitting several of these in the past week, I feel like we need to dig down and get specific.
As you should already know, a parlay works by having a progressive payout based upon the number of bets you lump together. It also gets a little deeper than this. For example, lets say that you’re betting on football, and bet the money line (which simply means that a team will win) on three favorites. You may bet $25 to win $50 in that case – the payout doesn’t progress very high because you’ve picked a parlay that is pretty likely to win. However, if you’re betting on three underdogs, you may bet $25 to win $100.
Now, football is a tough sport – generally, lumping together 4 bets will give you a 10:1 payout. Bet $25, win roughly $250. Not that that isn’t a good rate of return, but hockey is way crazier: you can make certain 4-pick combinations that offer things like $25 to win $2,375, which is completely insane. Now, is that super likely to happen? Obviously not. But if you have a few good reads on a game, and are able to pick an underdog or two, you can make huge money.
Just the other day, I bet three heavy favorites parlay’d together in hockey. In football, that would probably pay fairly poorly. In hockey, I still got paid out 3 to 1, which is pretty nice for money lining three overwhelming favorites.
So get out there. Know your teams. Do some research. Make those parlays!
Skkra recommends… Parlays!
It’s no secret that I love all types of gambling. But the one aspect of gambling that we haven’t given enough attention here on skkra.com is the glorious parlay.
In case you know nothing about gambling, a parlay is simply making several different bets all together – if any of them lose, you lose the whole thing. But if they all win, the payout is progressive. You can do things like make a 5-way parlay where you wager $20 to win $1000. Is it hard to hit? Yeah, you’re damn right it’s hard to hit. But when they do hit, it’s the greatest gambling feeling there is.
So there you have it! Call your bookie. Don’t have one? Call your Uncle’s bookie. You know he has one. Get out there and make some parlays.
Skkra recommends… staying drunk!
Did you survive New Years Eve? Did you survive New Years Day? If you’re reading this, I can only assume that you did. But if you were anything like me, you probably slept for about 3 hours from NYE to NYD, then drank the entire day yesterday.
Feel like shit? You should! Luckily, no need to fret – there is a solution. Just stay drunk!
I get it. You probably feel horrible, and the thought of putting yet another beer to your lips is almost nauseating at this point. Well, these are the moments that separate the men from the boys. I recommend getting to about 5/8 drunk, ideally by 2-3pm, then slowly winding yourself down from there. Your target is to be about 2/8 drunk by the time you’re headed to bed.
If you do it right, you should wake up tomorrow feeling only mildly tired, rather than having to deal with the full force of your hangover today. You’re welcome!
Skkra recommends… preseason betting!
Well, it’s preseason for football. Preseason usually sucks, but you know what helps make it fun? BETTING.
Sure, I might have lost every bet I made tonight. Sure, it was brutal. Sure, betting all of the favorites might not have been a 1o0% lock in retrospect. But damn if betting on these otherwise worthless games doesn’t make them great.
My advice to you? Bet on as many preseason games as possible. While putting $20 to win $200 on a longshot parlay might seem like throwing $20 away, it won’t be when you NAIL IT!