Annoyance April Drake


Annoyance April: Drake.

Sorry, Drake.  I actually think you make fairly catchy songs, and that you’re an intelligent guy with a good sense of humor about yourself.

That said, your guest spot in Work with Rihanna is the absolute worst part of that song, and I’m literally working right now on using Audacity to cut the song down and edit you out.  Your bridge section is utter shit, and it annoys the hell out of me.

I’d even love to post the edit when it’s done, because I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks you stink up a section of an otherwise great tune.  I can’t though.  Since millions of people read each day, I don’t feel comfortable posting a copyrighted song.  Pretty sure Rihanna is a loyal reader though, so if you’re reading this, please contact me if you would be cool with me posting my own edit of Work.

Annoyance April Phone Check


Annoyance April: Checking your phone all the time during conversation.

This may possibly be the thing I hate most in our modern society.  I have come to absolutely HATE when someone checks their phone while we’re having a conversation.  It drives me fucking insane.  If I ask you to look something up?  Sure.  Are we waiting for a friend to text us to meet up?  No problem.  Heroin dealer calling soon so we can all shoot up?  Then fine!  But if we’re just in the middle of a conversation, and you’re checking your phone – even if someone texts you – that is fucking annoying.  And, honestly, it’s rude.

I’ve started calling people out on it all the time now.  It instantly infuriates me.  Oh, I’m sorry, is our conversation so uninteresting that you need to respond to that stupid fucking meaningless text someone just sent you?  Unless you’re waiting to hear that your mom made it out of surgery, then just fucking wait until later.  If you’re more concerned about your phone than hanging out with people in real life, then maybe you should go hang out with your phone, freeing me up to hang with people who are interested in actually interacting.

Smartphones are extremely useful tools.  No denying it.  But it doesn’t mean that you should be looking at the fucking thing constantly.  I make it a massive point nowadays to NEVER look at it – honestly, I’ve seriously come to hate my phone for the most part, outside of the ability to play Hearthstone on it.  When people hear it vibrate in my pocket and ask do you need to check that I always say nope, absolutely not, I couldn’t care less about whatever was just texted to me.  If someone really needs me, they’ll call – no one ever calls unless something is actually important/urgent.  Otherwise, fuck the phone.  I’m with the person I want to be with right now.

Lately, my gal and I have even taken to ditching our phones when we go out together.  We’ll throw them in a coat or backpack and check it at the event, so we can just spend time together and not be bothered.  It’s delightful.  I recommend everyone do it.

I have another friend who has a new rule with his buddies: when they go out together, everyone puts their phone face down in a pile in the middle of the table.  If anyone checks their phone, they pick up the entire tab.

So yeah.  Fuck phones, and if you’re one of the people who is constantly checking it, maybe consider how that comes off to the other person.  It’s rude, and it says you’re not as interesting as looking at this stupid dog picture someone just sent me.  Consider looking at your stupid phone less, and enjoying the time spent with real people more.  If one of your good friends died tomorrow, I bet you’d be wishing you’d spent more time speaking them.  I doubt you’d say man, I’m glad I spent half of our conversations looking at my iphone!

Annoyance April Working Hours


Annoyance April: Mandatory Working Hours!

I’m glad that the world is changing, and that people are realizing more than quality is better than quantity when it comes to work.  That said, the 9-5 workday is still alive and well, and I personally am annoyed by it.

I’m good at my job.  I also work very fast.  If I get my work for the day done in 6 hours, why can’t I just go home?  I can still respond to email wherever I go thanks to the advent of smartphones, so it’s not like I’m not available if someone needs me.  If I’m REALLY needed, I can even use my phone to tether my laptop and have internet access anywhere, instantly.

I hope that as the world continues to evolve, and my generation starts taking over more and more corporations, we’ll see an evolution where you don’t need to work hours just because.  A lot of my friends work for modern startups, founded by younger guys, and they all think that way.

Annoyance April Billy Corgan


Annoyance April: Billy Corgan

I’m so torn on this, but I need to discuss it.  I actually think that the Smashing Pumpkins were great.  Cherub Rock is one of my favorite songs of the entire 1990s.  Hell, Billy Corgan’s guitar tone in general is literally 90-defining.  It has everything that makes up the classic grunge/rock sound.

I love the music in Smashing Pumpkins… but I don’t like Billy’s voice.  And it’s a real shame.  The main reason I have trouble enjoying Smashing Pumpkins is due to his voice, but there’s nothing I can do about it.  I get it too – as a lifelong They Might Be Giants fan, I hear plenty of people tell me that they can’t get into TMBG because they don’t like their voices.  So I get it.  I just lament the fact that a band that I realize is so great is something that I have trouble listening to for the most part.

If I could get a magic cover of Pumpkins tunes with Cobain, or Jerry Cantrell, or Chris Cornell singing on it instead of Corgan?  My god, it’d be glorious.

Final side note, I even like Billy Corgan on a personal level.  From what I’ve seen of him in interviews, even if I don’t always agree with what he says, he is intelligent and well-spoken, and does a good job at explaining his point of view in a calm and fair way.  Damn it, Billy.  I wish I liked your voice.

Annoyance April Bathroom Talkers


Annoyance April: Bathroom Talkers

When I’m in a public restroom, don’t talk to me.  That’s all I ask.  I find it annoying when I’m in there just trying to get in and out, and someone stops to have a big conversation with me.  I actually hate public restrooms in general, and love when I find a place where there are several smaller bathrooms, each separate from the other.  There aren’t that many places in life where I particularly care about my privacy, but when I’m in a bathroom, I kind of want to be left alone.

Furthermore, there is something even worse than a bathroom talker: a bathroom SELF talker.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a stall, and someone comes in muttering to themselves.  I can hear them speaking under their breath, but I can’t actually make out the words.  It’s not only irritating – it’s straight up disturbing.  I always feel like that person might kill me.